Yesterday was quite a day.
It started out with going to school and finding the door to my classroom locked. Instead of waiting for my teacher to show up late, I went to go sit in the waiting area with some friends. It was really nice actually, we just sat for 2 hours there and talked. I did eventually go ask my teacher if I could stay out there, because it was a class with only me and one other exchange student that I don't like, and she said that it was fine. So that's just what I did.
My day moved on with normal classes after that, and I even turned in a paper. The day before I had been assigned the task of writing a book summary for 'Der Vorleser' and I found that really difficult. I had watched the movie with my host mom for clarification, and finally things made sence. My sentences sounded like a handicapped second grader had written them. Thankfully my host mom helped correcct everything and it basically turned into an entirely different thing. It was fine though. That basically took all day. Anyhow, I turned that in and then had a free period.
In my free period Dju and Josie also had no class, so we sat around and ate and talked, and then the school was over. For everyone else, that is. I joined the group that will be doing something for the Christmas concert. I had laughed so hard when my teacher had read a Denglisch poem, so he asked me to read that at the concert with two others.
We went to the cafeteria to practice, get ready, and hang out.Í sat with the other preformers and listened to them play music. That was a lot of fun.
It hit me during the runthrough though when Jule (You-luh) announced that I was a 'special guest' at the concert, that I really was still only a guest to everyone. It was as though I wasn't really there. Homesickness hit me like an avalanche. I told my friend, Marie, and she hugged me until I stopped crying. It got better within about 10 minutes and I felt okay again. Sometimes it is the little things that are the hardest.
The concert went well and we got to eat cake afterwords. I rode the bus with the others that had preformed. It was actiually a really good day.
When I got home I decided to go to the gym. Yay for healthyness!
I don't expect you're "just a guest" to your friends. They're real. Your teachers treat you like a guest because of your difficulty with the language which affects your performance as a student, but your friends see you as a person. Your classmates definitely know you're an outsider from an official standing, and you're only temporarily in the country, but a year is a long time and a lot can happen. Your friends are your friends, not the people who take care of you because you're different and need help. They don't see you as a guest. You are a permanent part of their lives now, and your families as well will be permanently affected by knowing you and having you as part of the family.
ReplyDeleteYou're not going to disappear when you leave Germany. You're going to leave a lot behind, and take a lot with you. Your presence won't and can't be erased.
Iris